Nicest Thing

(Before the rants I would be inserting in this post, I would just like to proclaim that Jango is a two-thumbs-up website for people who love music but are not really acquainted with singers' names.)

Kate Nash sang what's in my heart. blahblah. I'm inserting the lyrics of her song Nicest Thing for your understanding:

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you'd always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

I wish that without me you couldn't eat~ ~ ~ (evil grin)

All the "I wish" in this song are ruining my hopes of turning things to reality. It's a desperate call to my unrelenting view of no-flirting-'coz-you're-a-girl-and-it's inappropriate-in-your-dear-culture. Miss, you would be left rotten by your ego when you are on your 30's and still do not know how to wink with a little attitude. Okay. 

Plates, Spoons and the Forks for our Chicken

 

Guimaras Island is a favored destination by both foreign and domestic tourists because of its picturesque beaches, waterfalls, springs, off shore islets, and its famous mangoes, which is considered one of the sweetest in the world. Guimaras is an island province of the Philippines located in the Western Visayas region. Among the smallest and youngest provinces, its capital is Jordan. The island is located in the Panay Gulf, between the islands of Panay and Negros. (source)

The controversy of gaining a complexion similar to most of American Superstars- white, smooth and basically absent from flaws (except freckles ^^) is the primary force that fuels my persistence to become equally fair as them. I decline any offer of hourly beach happiness since I have been constantly feeding my skin with Gluta-C (a popular brand of soap that promises to whiten Filipinos' tan color) and Shark Oil (hahaha). However, when I heard about a "free trip", my parsimonious character ruled my decisions. 

But I didn't regret my choice. The beauty I have seen in Guimaras, Philippines made me forget of my mantra. (But I never left my head cap just so I can protect my face). The island hopping, which was one of my first time experiences, was fulfilling. There was an island which is bigger than the other four we have visited. It was owned by a German who married a Filipino abroad because their man-to-man marriage was not allowed in our country. They died few years ago and the island was left to the care of the Filipino's family. We went up their summer house which was a magnificent view from our boat. When we climbed it up, I was even convinced of the silent beauty Philippine islands possess.

Wrong Era

I was born in the wrong era; I would love to have been a teenager when Blink 182, New Found Glory and Green Day were on the radio, not fucking Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black. When not everybody had cell phones or computers, you had to go outside and call round for your friends. When denim jackets with badges and studds covering them and tartan skirts was the fashion, not skimpy shorts and belly tops, like it is now. When kids cared more about music than popularity and sex. When you could stay out until it was dark and your parents weren't worried about you because we actually used our brains. 90's sitcoms, black nail varnish and mowhawks, when punks were the cool kids, not the outcasts. People didn't cake themselves in foundation,. just some eyeliner was enough; on girls and boys. When people were happy with themselves.

Save money

I have to close my eyes inside malls!!!

I’ve decided to look for a job almost 5 months ago because of two things===1. I have no money and 2. I want to spend more money!!! I’ve been receiving my salary and other incentives for 5 months which I guess could have climbed up to a 250$ savings, if only I haven’t visited malls too often…:/ Currently, I only have 40$!!!! So from now on, I would really, really, buy only the things I cannot live w/out. I hope so!!! ^^

Fighting Petty Concerns

If things are laid on the table and I have to choose the worst thing I was ever born with, being a coward would top the list. I get the most inappropriate fears and my inappropriateness even fears me. 

What more can I get from life if I remain as lousy and stagnant as I am? Will there be any chance that a pound-for-pound hammer hit my head and shake all the neurons in there? I wish. Maybe they'll function better and just give me a break from being too obsessed about protecting my ego. The lousiest fear I had: making things better for myself. I fear that taking steps to enlighten the dark path of nunnery will lead me somewhere darker. That by fixing what's obviously wrong, I could ruin the small pieces of happiness I own. How stupid is that? I dread rejection and what's annoying is that I always view things forward. Even before an egg produces a chick, I see it being broken to pieces and becoming useless. Where do all the positive vibes go? I have to fix things. Set limits to my awkwardness and maybe, no, definitely, things will change.