Flight Number 5J 740

Last February 28, 2016, I was in an economy flight with Cebu Pacific bound for King Khaled International Airport.

But before that, I had some issues (sensitive details) with my agency that made me rethink my decision of leaving Philippines. So on the night before my flight bound for Saudi Arabia, I was scared out of my wits. I spent the entire night on my phone googling the place of my employment (google is my bestfriend) and the contact details of the Philippine Embassy in Riyadh and reading tons of blogs about the life in the kingdom. 

I was afraid that I'll get lost in the airport and some psychopath will hide me away from the rest of the world. I was afraid that I might make a silly joke because I always do or I might act as my normal crazy self and Arabs will get offended and I'll get convicted with a thousand lashes. I was afraid that I'll terribly miss Philippines and I'll go nuts out of depression because for starters, I was already extremely dramatic despite the amazing tropical weather at home. What if everything changes (because I know it will)?

I told my father that I want to cancel my flight.

He said, "You've been so dauntless your entire life almost to a point of being reckless and now you want to back out? Put your phone down and stop reading things that disturb your peace of mind. Take a rest." 

That shut me up. 

A year before I decided to go abroad, almost every nurse acquaintance that I knew was flying to Europe. United Kingdom and Ireland turned into this massive creamy chocolate cake that became too irresistable to almost half of my batchmates, friends and myself included. I badly wanted to take my own slice from it. However, just like in real life, artisan goods are in the pricey side so I have to delay it for a bit. And by a bit, that meant a 2 year contract in the Middle East so I can save up some Euros or Riyals if you prefer. 

Seven months here but I do not know where all my Riyals went (my mom's healthcare and chocolates, lots of) but I am definitely saving up crazy memories and a bunch of lessons out of my neurotic life choices. I thought Saudi life is boring. But four months before my first anniversary over here and I have already gone through one hell of a ride. 

I still get lonely often. I love long walks and random escapades which I can't do here as much as I want to. I miss wandering endlessly on unknown streets. I miss fishball and isaw. I miss the talaba (oyster), pantat (catfish) and liempo combo at Matmat's in Villa, Arevalo. I miss going back and forth Esplanade despite the awful mangrove smell. I miss randomly meeting a friend at SM City. I miss sticking my face out of a jeepney during windy rides back home. I miss midnight trips to 7/11 or Ministop for a bottle of San Miguel Light while eating Angel's burger. I miss the tall talahib grasses that dance outside my bedroom's window on windy afternoons. I miss how my mama wakes me up at 11am during my days off to eat the brunch she lovingly made for me and I miss how grumpy I get being woken up because I was such a brat. 

I miss knowing that those I love are just a 25 peso ride at maximum away from me. I miss how my greatest struggle to see the ones I love was just battling people to get into the next empty jeepney on rainy nights. 

I hated rainy nights when I was heading home, but now, to go home means waiting for two years to get an exit visa. Seeing those I love meant a 10 hour international flight and a completed two year contract.

Our lives here in the kingdom revolve mostly around our workplace and our apartment. There are days when I am not aware of what date it is because everyday is monotonous. And if you know me really well, I dislike monotomy. 

However, monotomy pushes me to see the day beyond being just an 8 hour shift. My senses get stronger and my heart gets a bit bigger. A kind word from a madame (married female) or from an aku (Arab male) or from a sadik (Pakistani for friend) brigthens my day immensely. A hug and a bosa (kiss) from a 4 year old Syrian or Pakistani makes my heart swell ten times bigger than it used to be. A meek smile and a gentle tap at the back from mama (a grandmother) reminds me of the kindness we all can offer to everyone. 

I get to spend most of my days talking to my Filipina housemates who are from different backgrounds. It's like a psychology immersion. I am used to being alone so spending my time with the same people for almost 24 hours everyday is a good way to fuel my social skills. I am obliged to deal with my issues and to look into them on a daily basis because I realized I still have a lot of growing up to do at 25.

I am actually on a two year retreat and Middle Eastern trip. I am getting paid for it. Bonus is I'm doing what I love- nursing.

Also, not everyone has the chance to set foot on the desert. You don't get to learn Arabic everyday. That's a plus one on my resume.  "Can speak English, Hiligaynon, Filipino and a mix of baroque Arabic and Pushto (Afghan/Pakistani)". Not every female gets to try the elegance of an Abaya (black cover up) partnered with a hijab (head scarf). I tell you, that shawarma and kebab you had in your local restaurant are nothing compared to the ones they have over here, fully loaded with carbs and meat. They go overboard here. Eat at your own risk.

I have always been wrong on my first impressions. The kingdom is different than the rest of the world but it is truly a beautiful country. The kind of beauty that can only be seen once you learn its culture and live with its people.