My Gut Feels

During my entire summer vacation last 2002 or maybe 2001 (I am really bad with details),

 I remember going on regular afternoon trips with my bestfriend to a tyange (a small store) in our subdivision. As soon as the sun gets a bit toned down and it's safe to venture the streets without burning under the summer heat, 

we, two skinny schoolgirls, would excitedly run to buy our favorite summer merienda- 

1 pack of salted and MSG loaded chips and a bottle of cold Pepsi each. 

We did this routine without fail for more than a month. 

On that same summer,

 my aunt bought a dozen instant pancit canton and laid it neatly on the dining table. I remember how I stayed hidden behind the kitchen door and waited until the scene was clear before I run and hurriedly ripped open each of the 12 pack, took the MSG seasoning, all 12 of them and run towards the veranda where I snacked on them for the rest of the afternoon.

 It was a delicious, savory, completely artificial yet pure MSG buffet for me. 

12 sachets of bliss. 

Imagine my family's horror when they found out that they'll be forced to eat a dozen of pancit canton with just salt and soysauce.

Still on that same 2001 or 2002 summer,

 a week before my maybe 10th or 11th birthday (details, ughhh), we went to Aklan for a scheduled Boracay birthday gift from my aunt.

 Days before the Boracay trip,

 I woke up in the middle of the night with unexplainable stomach cramps and a demented series of vomiting where I got hold of every furniture in my grandpa's house, crying and asking for a miracle. 

Aklan was quiet and too rural back then and that meant no public transportation at 12 midnight (we don't own a car) so my aunt had to literally drag a limping, vomiting, wailing and probably hallucinating teenage girl to the nearest hospital. 

After several needle pricks and basins of puke,

 I was diagnosed with Acute Gastritis. 

I had several stomach issues thereafter. Occassionally, I would suffer from watery stools or bloating but nothing too serious. However, just last year, I noticed that I got bloated too often. The attacks were bothersome especially when they happen while I was still on duty in the hospital.  

Hunger + stress + physical exhaustion + emotional chaos + BLOATING, I tell you, equates to a very unique kind of disaster.

The bloating comes and goes. 

But when it does come, I can't live properly. 

I can't breathe like a normal human with a functional pair of lungs and a diaphragm because everything inside my tummy gets poked by a huge air and it feels like I am about to give birth to a giant hot air balloon. 

I have to forcefully make myself gag with a tounge depressor or my tooth brush just to push that ball of air out of my mouth. It is exhausting. 

Then I had tumor and gallbladder stone scare because my signs and symptoms seem to suggest that. Thankfully, the ultrasound turned out negative. But it got more frustrating. What is wrong with me then? My bilirubin is 12 times elevated than normal but all of my other laboratories are okay. 

Currently, I am hypochondriac. 

I am thinking I might have IBS or a fungal infection in my gut (thanks google for being my internist this time). I am going to jump into a strict antifungal diet of no sugar or carbohydrates and let's see if it will work. Stool gets tested tomorrow.

 Crappy gut, please get well soon.