Tell Me Something Stupid

Disclaimer: You're about to read the most stupid thing that could ever happen in the life of an average nursing student. 

Let's go back to 2010 when yours truly was merely 19 years old (I'm 21 now, I don't know if there's much difference though). Two years in nursing school and I cried a bucket, the kind that you usually see in some typical Asian dramas--- bulging eyeballs, fetal position, trembling extremities and boogers coming out spontaneously like happy dancing pop corns. 

Okay. It wasn't funny back then. It's more of the world crumbling in front of me. I diagnosed myself with depression a hundred times.

The real story happened during our last rotation for the second year (it was the darkest of my four years). 

I was so naive. So clumsy. So nervous. So scared.  

(If you're a nursing student or a nurse, you'll know this is not an exaggeration)

Those together with a young clinical instructor who's also as afraid as I was (she could lose her license with a student's single mistake) created hysteria. Let's just say I did something wrong (and by wrong, I'm talking about not knowing how to perform a skin test, a pretty simple procedure. 

But I was young! okay).

Then I was awarded with the most ridiculing statements I have ever heard out of my dearest mediocre life. That's probably the time that I felt too little of myself. 

Dude, almost 30 people not including the patients and their folks heard those discriminating words that were particularly intended to ridicule me. I was really pained. 

On a serious note: I believe you can't teach someone something good by powdering their ego. That's just the lamest teaching strategy, ever.

That instant, I made a firm decision of quitting nursing--- for good. 

I was performing the typical Asian drama scene but this time, not in my bed but in the hospital corridors. 

It was really dramatic! 

My heart was so heavy when I grabbed my phone and texted my mama this:

Me: I'm quitting nursing. That's final.

3 minutes later

Unknown number: Where are you?

Me: In the hospital. Why?

Unknown number: I'm going there.

Me: Why? You can't change my decision anyway. It's final. I quit. (I'm too hard headed, just so you know)

Unknown number: Why???

Me: It's a long story. I don't want to continue nursing anymore. Pls. understand.

Unknown number: Your father will go there now. Wait for him.

I was stoked. 

 Wait. What? It was 11PM and my parents are living in the province, an hour away from the city. We don't own a car and it's too late for a public transportation. And my father is actually going to fetch me?

Instead of feeling comforted that my parents were really worried, I felt weird. They would never do such thing. Not that they won't care about me, but they would probably wait until the next morning to talk to me. Which was really the case because friends, the whole conversation above was not between me and my mom. 

*******drum roll*******

 I was making a dramatic conversation with my friend's mom. 

Yes.

What really happened: 

 Friend X borrowed my phone to text his mom and his mom replied to my phone and I thought it was my mom replying to my dramatic text. I created a serious chaos in friend X's house when I send them those revolting words. His dad urgently drove their car, waited in the parking lot to make some serious talking with his son while I secretly exited the hospital grounds like some freaking ninja---- feeling really, really, really stupid.

PS. I was pretty serious about leaving nursing. I had my shifting form and another major's syllabus. I talked to my parents and my friends. I didn't study for the final exam and took it like a boss, I was grinning the whole time because I have no idea what I was reading and I am so happy I'm failing the last test of my hated course. But in the end, I pass the exam and graduated with a BSN degree.  And hey, I LOVE NURSING now. :D

 Word of advice? STOP watching Asian dramas. They'll ruin YOU.